Provision

Why do I doubt? Why do I question and complain? O Lord, forgive me! 

Once in awhile, when our sweet Savior knows I am especially weak, He graces me with a fresh reminder of His provision. A few recent examples: 

1. Naomi was 4 months old.  She drooled so excessively, she soaked one bib per hour. This is not an exaggeration. We had just moved and money was super tight, so I made do with the bibs we had and just washed them every night after the days soaking. In the midst of this, on a day when I felt particularly lonely, a package arrived from my grandmother. She runs a volunteer thrift store in her small town and had picked up a few things for me, including four new bibs. Tears dropped down my cheeks as I thanked the Lord for this small gift. A reminder that He saw me, my loneliness, and knew my smallest needs. 

2. Last month, a change in seasons and I needed new clothes for my oldest. I had tried to hit garage sales but things kept getting in the way of going, the consignment shop I tried in town was overpriced, and I so desired to be wise with the money God has given us. I didn't want to just go and spend the money for new clothes. So I prayed. One of those, pray-while-caring-for-kids prayers. One minute after my silent amen, the phone rang. My sister-in-law was at a garage sale with loads of girl clothes. Did I need anything? Oh my Lord, you are sweet!

3. Tonight, as I put off the dishes and chose instead to pop online, I noticed an e-mail from a church member regarding our upcoming youth event. I was in charge of finding volunteers to bring food.  I had enough volunteers for food, but it dawned on me that we will be outside on a 50 degree day and a warm drink would be really helpful. My phone beeped at me, voicemail. I checked the voicemail and it was another church member, asking how he and his wife could help with the event. Could they bring something? 

In most of these stories the exceptional part is not what was provided. A few bibs, some clothes, help with an activity, these are simple. I could easily have survived and gone on with life without any meaningful loss. The exceptional part is the timing. They all came on days when my weakness of heart and faith felt heavy and my spirit fought the grumbling of my flesh, the ingratitude that sneaks in on those weary days. And the nearness of the provision to the recognition of the need. In only one of the three instances did I actually pray for provision. And in two the provisions came within seconds of my realization of the need. 

God knows full well that we don't need these small gifts from Him, and He certainly has no obligation to provide them. But He is our Father, if He has washed us with the blood of Jesus, and we are His children. And Daddies know how to give good gifts to their children. Thanks, Dad. 

~Love,
Libby